Archive for July, 2010

Why I don’t see my son anymore

Swimming class. Chinese language tuition. Classical architecture course. Horse-riding lessons. How to prepare your kid for Harvard tutorials. And that’s only what my (soon to be) 4-year old did this afternoon. This explains why we haven’t had a serious father to son talk since March. Also, I need to do something about that overspending on my supplementary credit card …

Advertisements

Life has changed since you met Mr Tetris

You’ve rearranged the furniture in neat little rows.

You’ve replaced the toilet bowl with a square seat model.

You keep stacking the cutlery, plates, pots and pans on top of each other.

The TV in your living room is a square.

And so is that pair of glasses on your um, squarish face.

Fashion-wise, you seem to only wear solid primaries.

(This was somewhat noticeable at last week’s square dance).

Your favourite artist is no longer Matisse but Mondrian.

Your eyes have trouble focussing on more than one object at a time.

You’re constantly looking up, afraid of things falling on your head.

Always hoping, wishing something better will come your way.

You’ve become like a brick wall when I try to talk

But of course, it’s all just a game to you.

What’s at the heart

From Gapingvoid.com. Thanks Janet.

Painting by the young master

'Daddy in the office working' 2010

The 3-year old artist greeted me at the door. He pulled me to the staircase where his manager (affectionately known as ‘Mom’) hangs some of his drawings.

Lukas: Daddy, look!

Me: That’s nice. What’s it called?

Lukas: Daddy in the office, working.

Me: Ah, ok.

Lukas: You like?

Me: Why does Daddy have orange hair? It makes me look like a clown.

Lukas’s manager: That’s your ears.

Lukas: That’s your ears Daddy.

Me: Why do I look so evil?

Lukas’s manager: That’s how you always look when you come home.

Lukas: What is evil?

Me: Is that a cloud over my head or is it hair?

Lukas: It’s hair!

Me: And why is Daddy wearing a dress?

Lukas’s manager: He doesn’t know how to draw pants yet. Leave him alone.

Lukas: I don’t know how to draw pants Daddy. Leave me alone.

Me: Are we just going to put this painting here – what if somebody sees it?

The conversation ended abruptly at that point. Lukas went back to his toys, and soon forgot about the whole thing. His manager drifted to the kitchen either to prepare some food or rearrange the shelves so she can put up more paintings in the future.

Good catch

So my friend whose head at a certain angle looks like either a telephone or vintage alarm clock, has started an online boutique selling new and pre-loved clothes. According to my wife and other people who make it their life business to memorize the prices of women’s clothing, the items are a steal. Check out Flo’s fineries here.

Attack of the auditors

Fig 1: Numbers people

So it’s that time of the year where we have to submit our accounts and have them verified by the auditors. Lilaine and I have no gift for numbers and frankly, it scares me that there are people out there who are into these sort of things.

Edwy, our most patient and long-suffering accountant, has been asking all sorts of questions we can’t answer, i.e. How many did tees did you sell last year? What happened to all those unaccounted for tees? Where are the suppliers receipts? What disease did cured ham actually have? 

From his line of questions (and the fabulously vague answers we keep pulling out of thin air), this business is obviously doomed to failure. Lilaine, to her credit, has been spending late nights tying up all the loose ends and making sense of the various scribbles on pieces of paper that passes for our ‘stock chart’.

Not a good month, this.