If there is a drug for procrastication, will people get around to buying it?

If there is a drug for ADD, will people sit still long enough to read the instructions?

If there is a drug for stupidity, will people know what they’re supposed to do with it?

If there is drug for people who like Justin Bieber, will they never say never?

On a related note, there is a drug for people who like longer eyelashes, although it could make eating soup difficult.

Apologies for the non-appearance but have really busy with my day job. Alright, back to work. Now where did I put that checklist …

Life has changed since you met Mr Tetris

You’ve rearranged the furniture in neat little rows.

You’ve replaced the toilet bowl with a square seat model.

You keep stacking the cutlery, plates, pots and pans on top of each other.

The TV in your living room is a square.

And so is that pair of glasses on your um, squarish face.

Fashion-wise, you seem to only wear solid primaries.

(This was somewhat noticeable at last week’s square dance).

Your favourite artist is no longer Matisse but Mondrian.

Your eyes have trouble focussing on more than one object at a time.

You’re constantly looking up, afraid of things falling on your head.

Always hoping, wishing something better will come your way.

You’ve become like a brick wall when I try to talk

But of course, it’s all just a game to you.

Good catch

So my friend whose head at a certain angle looks like either a telephone or vintage alarm clock, has started an online boutique selling new and pre-loved clothes. According to my wife and other people who make it their life business to memorize the prices of women’s clothing, the items are a steal. Check out Flo’s fineries here.

Miracle on the MRT

I was taking the MRT the other day when this poster caught my eye. It’s an ad for Combi prams, promoting their MiracleTurn range of strollers. Basically, it allows you to turn the handle so you can face your baby or let the little fella face the big bad world. Not a bad idea I suppose. Never know when that kid might do an impersonation of Chucky or something.

Anyway, what I found really interesting is the use of the word ‘Miracle’. Probably ever since the beginning of the industrial revolution, advertising has taken powerful words and distorted/ devalued its meaning. Think words like ‘revolution’, ‘amazing’, ‘glorious’ – actually, if you don’t know the true weight of these words, you’ve been reading too many ads lately!

Then there’s this MiracleTurn – which takes the whole thing to statospheric levels. I mean, c’mon guys, all it does is turn the handle from front to back. Doesn’t take an Einstein to figure out how to do it. Miracle = walking on water, turning water to wine, bringing sight to blind or feeding the hungry masses with 5 loaves and 2 fishes. Miracle does not equal being able to push a pram handle from front to back. Even if your competitors hadn’t thought about it before.

Sometimes this naming business really gets to me. Not that Combi will do anything about it but I feel much better now. Alright, time for a sandwich. Where’s that miracle whip …

Lovebook

Amazing how many married couples communicate with each other through Facebook. Some even reply each other’s tweets. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned face to face conversation. Hmm, what do you think Laine?

Photograph by ~olino